bittersweet. like chocolate.

I have definitely been swinging to Matt Nathanson all day today.
Mm... yes, I have.
Thanks to Misty T. for bringing him into my life -- kudos to your good choices.

We went to the concert and had lots-o-fun.
He's one of those performers you can just get lost without even realizing it. Amazing.

On a more serious note, I am getting ready for finals next week and I'm stressed to the point where I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about different classes. No fun. I can't wait for them to be finished and then it's on to bigger and better things -- my last summer as a student. I was thinking about it today -- this summer will be my last official "summer". It seems so far-fetched to me. After this my days as a student will be no more. I honestly don't know how I feel about that... mixed feelings I guess. I'm ready to move on in life and be finished with school, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to receive the responsibility of being an adult. It's almost like bittersweet chocolate -- it is good to cook with, but not as sweet as savory milk chocolate.

I'm tired.
Weary.

untitled.

I'm ready to go home.
Where my family is and love is found...without conditions or questions -- it is simply available.
I'm ready for this semester to be over.
I guess there is a point where one has to create their own home wherever they go, but at this point I just want my mom and dad...I don't care if that sounds childish. I miss them. so much.

Only a few more weeks and I'll be finished with junior year. It's crazy to think I only have one more year left. One year. So many things can happen in one year. I could move. go. stay. visit. travel. find out who I really am. fall in love, perhaps. I'm ready to explore. I hope the next year of my life is devoted to finding me -- in the ordinary and out of the ordinary experiences I am faced with.

So, I'm going to do it.

giddy-up.

It seems to me that all of my girl friends are feeling the same emotions as me... Direction, wisdom, love, so on and so on -- they all seem to be so close but still so far away. At least that's how I feel. I can't seem to break free from this mindset that everything has to be in order for me to move on from this place I'm stuck in. That's it, I'm stuck. I keep trying to pull out and continue to dig my self deeper in the "mud".

I don't have it all figured it out. And that's okay. It has to be or else my mind would constantly be on my current state of not knowing and nothing would get done.

Lord, send me something to let me know I'm where I need to be.

I'll find my way. Slowly, but surely I feel like I am wading through this season of life. It isn't just school, but it's life. Everything can seem so difficult and overwhelming. You would think that school would be enough on it's own, but it isn't. There is so much to be taken care of. Can't I just stop and soak up life? Embrace the moment. That's what they say, right? I need help embracing the moment. There is too much going on to do that. Too much. I guess that's a good starting point. I need to make some time to simply sit still.

Soak.it.up.