I think I'd miss you even if we never met.
This is one of my favorite movie quotes. Of course, in the actual movie (The Wedding Date), the man is referring to the woman he's falling in love with. For me, this statement is true, but in a different context. I miss you... and we never got to meet.
Roscoe Athens Berry
My parents, Nana, and aunt went to visit my grandfathers gravesite today. Unfortunately, I was unable to go with them. My grandfather passed away long before I was even a twinkle in my mama's eye. He was in his early 50's with the personality like my daddy's (so he tells me). Had we met, I would have fallen in love with him and most likely have considered him one of my best friends. If he was anything like my dad, I would have been absolutely crazy about him... and he about me. To hear the way my parents talk about him makes me envy them for being able to spend time with him. He had a heart of gold, unconditional love, a great sense of humor (must run in the family), he was brilliant, handsome... traits of a superhero. He was perfect, I just know it. I miss him so much. You ever have a moment when you're by yourself and it just hits you? It happened me today. Tears, lots of them, came out of nowhere. Maybe it was the inevitable rain or the soft melodies playing in the background or maybe, just maybe, it was that I decided to let myself go. I can't seem to remember a time when I've ever actually cried over this, but today... today, I did. And it felt right. I hate that he missed out on ballet recitals, graduations, the boys baseball games, family suppers, swinging on the back porch, catching fireflies, seeing me grow up. I hate that he won't be present when I promise myself to the man I love. But I do know where he is and I know that one day, I'll get to meet him. Then I'll hug him, over and over and over.
Honestly, I've never realized how much I truly miss him.
2 comments:
hi love...i stumbled across your blog on facebook...you are a beautiful writer! :) miss your face!
Just read this or I would have commented sooner.
I knew your grandfather Roscoe--knew him very well, in fact. Your dad and I grew up together--went to the same church, the same schools, had many of the same friends. Roscoe and my dad were good friends; my dad died suddenly two weeks after Roscoe died and their funerals were held in the same church.
I am not biased toward your grandfather like your father is, so you can believe me when I say that everything that he has told you about Roscoe is true. I remember his goodness, his humor--I remember his grace, in that he always treated me like I was somebody special, which I was not.
It is a shame that you did not get to know him. My children can relate to you--both of my parents died before they were born and so they can know and love them only through what they hear others say about them, and we have tried to be faithful in that telling.
Blessings to you. God is good.
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